andothersuchphrases: Woman's silhouette on stage (I'll top the bill. I'll earn the kill.)
[personal profile] andothersuchphrases
I was looking for something in my GoogleDocs and found this. It's a bit of some freewriting I did, experimenting with just what came out and... I badly want to expand it into a verse. I'm not sure what to do with it yet, but I figured it belonged in here with the other original stuff, lest I lose it.

"The world's shit, Johnny. You could have at least told me you were still alive."

Susan's the only person in the world who still calls me Johnny anymore. It doesn't sound like it belongs on me these days- it belongs on someone younger, less experienced. Some wayward kid who hasn't really grasped the scope of what he's going to wind up doing with his life. Of course, it made sense- Susan's the only person still around who knew me when, back before things started spiraling out of my hands.

My hands. Like anyone's in control of the world anymore. That'd be the arrogance talking and Susan saw it for what it was, because she just snorted and went back to her cigarette.

I halfheartedly wondered when she started smoking.

"I was in prison."

"They let you write letters in prison."

"It wasn't that kind of prison, Suze."

She actually turned her focus off the cigarette long enough to give me a considering look, like she was actually wondering what her Johnny Boy had done to land himself into serious trouble. Like I said, I wasn't her Johnny anymore. I was something else, something darker. Past my prime, older and far away... Name your cliche, and I was probably it.

"What happened to you?"

I ran a hand absentmindedly through my hair. "If I could tell you, I would."

"Bullshit," Susan snapped, bridging the distance between us. I stiffened as the curl of smoke from her cigarette wafted towards my nostrils and held my breath to keep from gagging. I think I'd lose all the mysterious, scarred old bastard points I had if I started choking on cigarette smoke. "You'd never tell me anything."

Truth is, she was right. Susan didn't need to know about those things back when they were just a threat, something I figured I could put an end to, but now they're out there in the public eye and no one knows anything and everyone who does doesn't say shit, because that's like admitting they were there. That's like asking people to wonder if there are monsters too and all the heroes really are dead.

They are, by the way.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-12-12 06:29 pm (UTC)
mortalcity: (whispers in the dark)
From: [personal profile] mortalcity
I have no idea what this is, but if you wrote more of it, I would be very happy. And as always, I love your narrators. And the last line. ♥


andothersuchphrases: An open door. It's creepy. (Default)

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